Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Taking one for the team

The following is a hypothetical situation, and is not based off of an actual encounter, but it is a scenario that most swingers will eventually face, so I figured it would be a good story to make up for a blog post.

It was a typical night at the club. My wife was not meeting anyone that she was all that interested in, but I was having a great time chatting up a female club going. Things were going great with her, and it was clear that we were both interested in playing with each other. There was one issue standing between us and the bedroom, however. My wife and I, and her and her husband are same room only couples, we only play with others when our partners are present as well. Eventually we get the opportunity to introduce our spouses to eachother. While he seemed interested in my wife, but was wife was not particularly attracted to him. After the 4 of us had chatted for a while, my wife whispered in my ear "I am not really attracted to him, but you seem really into her. If you really want to play with her, I will take one for the team to make it happen for you".

This scenario is fictional, but is one most swingers will eventually face. Everyone is a lifestyle relationship needs to ask "Should I or my partner ever take one for the team?"

Human nature dictates that we are all attracted to different things. The lifestyle gives us an opportunity to pursue all the different things that we are into, but for those of us in swinging relationships, its important to remember that your partners needs always come first. Just because you are attracted to someone does not mean that your partner will be attracted to their partner, and vice versa.

For couples that only play together, creating a rule in advance is critical. Options for the rules are :

1 - Nobody will ever take one for the team, we only play if we both want to
2 - It is ok to volunteer to take one for the team, but not to ask your partner to do so
3 - It is ok to ask your partner to take one for the team
4 - It is ok to take one for the team, but if you do, the other partner "owes you one"
5 - It is ok to take one for the team, but not to keep tabs on who took what for the team.

There is no right or wrong answer, and every couple will have different needs. For some people, allowing their partner to have the time of their life is such a turn on that it would make even "taking one for the team" enjoyable. For others, swinging is only fun when they are with someone they are attracted to, and what their partner is doing does not effect their ability to enjoy the experience.

The goal of this post is not to provide an answer to the question of "Should anyone ever take one for the team?", but instead to promote discussion about this issue. Have you ever taken one for the team? Has your partner? Have you ever discussed it with your partner? If so, feel free to share your advice or stories in the comments section, your advice could really out out our readers who are just now finding their way into the lifestyle.

2 comments:

  1. Being highly competitive, a workaholic, impulsive, restless or simply bored might improve your risk of compulsive playing. Compulsive playing is extra common in younger and middle-aged folks. Gambling during childhood or the teenage years will increase the chance of growing compulsive playing. But compulsive playing within the older grownup population can also be|may additionally 점보카지노 be|can be} an issue.

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  2. Taking one for the team is just another way of saying that you're doing something you don't want to do. No one should do that. At the same time, there are different levels of acceptability. No two people are going to have an exactly equal level of attraction to two strangers being considered for sex. But both may be perceived as at least meeting the minimum expectations for a quick, illicit encounter. In my opinion, in any foursome at least one of those people feels a little bit like they are compromising but not enough to call it off. The phrase taking one for the team is a little too binary to capture the complexity of human emotions in these situations.

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